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I can't keep my silence forever. 1 month ago,in September,I left my wife. She yelled at me for spending my money on an album off Itunes, said I wasn't allowed to spend anything until the bills were paid off. I was sick and tired of suffering all of the pain, stress, and suffering with her and that household. I left a note and my debit card and sneaked out of the house, walking away from it all and went to CVS.

During that time, my dad was visiting, and I was forced into taking 2 college classes I didn't want. It was either that, or getting divorced and shipped back to San Francisco; it was always that ultimatum.

Anyway, an hour or so later, dad called me, and came to me. Then my wife called with a blocked number, angry and giving me the same ultimatum. I said nothing, talked to my dad, and we went to Dennys before checking into a hotel in Sylmar. When we arrived at Dennys, I cried. I cried because I was torn apart, and am still torn apart; after everything they've done for me, but they were insane. I still cared about her, but I had enough of all the yelling, shouting, screaming, arguing, crying, whining, the smell of cancer indoors while her mom smoked inside, her chatterbox brother who doesn't know when to shut up, all of that madness.

A few days later, me and Dad were going to pickup some of my stuff, but when I went to the garage to get my guitar and amp, she followed me, yelled at me by calling me a coward, and wanted to talk to me in her parent's bedroom. When that happened, they locked my dad out. He kept banging on the door, and I went back outside to get away from them. Also,before we went back to the house, dad called the sheriff and asked for an escort, just in case it got ugly; my brother in law had weapons.

Then I went to my workplace and asked for a leave of absence while I find another store to transfer too. On my last day at work, they were waiting for me, wanting me to come back. They thought my dad kidnapped me, when I left willingly of my own free will. Dad only helped me. We left town and headed to San Francisco.

That's where I've been since, trying to fix my life. The divorce hasn't been finalized at this moment, I didn't get the rest of my stuff back, I blocked her from my social networks, and am reuniting with old friends and family members. Besides that, am still trying to transfer to another store in SF, and am planning on going back to college to classes I want to take. Something creative.

God, I sound like a hypocritical brat on a broken record. Why do I even bother posting something nobody will ever read? It feels like a waste of time to some, but I'm pouring out some (if not all) of the negative energy I've bottled up since that incident. Seems like every 6 years, a life changing event happens. In 2002, I was forced to move to San Francisco and endure high school and college. Back in 2008, me and my family were getting evicted, and she and her family took me in.

If I've left too many holes in this entry and want answers, send me a message.

Thank you all for your time. Goodbye and Goodnight.
  • Mood: Unhappy
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
Many years on this journey
All the while burning
White darkness shines upon
my soul,my shadow grows

Drowning in the sun
Ultraviolet venom eating my sins
Melting black ashes
Melting black my purity
I'm fading insane

Solar illumination healing my wounds
Yet bringing me ruin
Faith is smoldering me
Incinerating disease

Did I ask for your help?
Help me disintegrate
Are you from Heaven or Hell?
Help me deteriorate
Will you decay with me?
Now will you believe with me?

Boiling torture
Painful scorcher
Infernal horror
My life is over

Skin peeling away
Evolving,dissolving my corruption
Reborn with new purpose
A 2nd chance worth living for
Perdition won't hold me back anymore
Melting Black Syndrome
51 poem off O.B.E.

Been working on it ever since I thought of the title from my Arcana Killer story.For this one,even I don't know the true meaning of it.It's up to the reader's imagination.
Loading...
I can't keep my silence forever. 1 month ago,in September,I left my wife. She yelled at me for spending my money on an album off Itunes, said I wasn't allowed to spend anything until the bills were paid off. I was sick and tired of suffering all of the pain, stress, and suffering with her and that household. I left a note and my debit card and sneaked out of the house, walking away from it all and went to CVS.

During that time, my dad was visiting, and I was forced into taking 2 college classes I didn't want. It was either that, or getting divorced and shipped back to San Francisco; it was always that ultimatum.

Anyway, an hour or so later, dad called me, and came to me. Then my wife called with a blocked number, angry and giving me the same ultimatum. I said nothing, talked to my dad, and we went to Dennys before checking into a hotel in Sylmar. When we arrived at Dennys, I cried. I cried because I was torn apart, and am still torn apart; after everything they've done for me, but they were insane. I still cared about her, but I had enough of all the yelling, shouting, screaming, arguing, crying, whining, the smell of cancer indoors while her mom smoked inside, her chatterbox brother who doesn't know when to shut up, all of that madness.

A few days later, me and Dad were going to pickup some of my stuff, but when I went to the garage to get my guitar and amp, she followed me, yelled at me by calling me a coward, and wanted to talk to me in her parent's bedroom. When that happened, they locked my dad out. He kept banging on the door, and I went back outside to get away from them. Also,before we went back to the house, dad called the sheriff and asked for an escort, just in case it got ugly; my brother in law had weapons.

Then I went to my workplace and asked for a leave of absence while I find another store to transfer too. On my last day at work, they were waiting for me, wanting me to come back. They thought my dad kidnapped me, when I left willingly of my own free will. Dad only helped me. We left town and headed to San Francisco.

That's where I've been since, trying to fix my life. The divorce hasn't been finalized at this moment, I didn't get the rest of my stuff back, I blocked her from my social networks, and am reuniting with old friends and family members. Besides that, am still trying to transfer to another store in SF, and am planning on going back to college to classes I want to take. Something creative.

God, I sound like a hypocritical brat on a broken record. Why do I even bother posting something nobody will ever read? It feels like a waste of time to some, but I'm pouring out some (if not all) of the negative energy I've bottled up since that incident. Seems like every 6 years, a life changing event happens. In 2002, I was forced to move to San Francisco and endure high school and college. Back in 2008, me and my family were getting evicted, and she and her family took me in.

If I've left too many holes in this entry and want answers, send me a message.

Thank you all for your time. Goodbye and Goodnight.
  • Mood: Unhappy
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing

deviantID

Daozen
Gray
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
Hello,this is Gray.I write poems(or lyrics,whichever one),draw whatever comes to mind,and live in Saugus.Hope you enjoy what you see.
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MamaELM:iconmamaelm:
Fish are the true spirits of the wild, always turning, twisting and surging through the great abyss. Only seeking that which can keep them alive.
Mon Oct 1, 2012, 12:55 PM
Kida-neechan:iconkida-neechan:
hello :D
Tue Aug 21, 2012, 4:43 AM
Nobody

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:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday and all my best wishes to you. Hope you have a nice (Sun)day :)
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:iconrenekunert:
ReneKunert Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013   Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav! 
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:iconravenspider:
RavenSpider Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fav honey
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:iconravenspider:
RavenSpider Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fav honey
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:iconforbidden-dragon13:
Forbidden-Dragon13 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :heart:
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:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Have a birthday llama from me ;)

Happy birthday to you on that fine December day. Hope you enjoy everything and the world around you. May all your dreams and wishes come true for just another year. Be healthy, calm and keep your inner peace :)
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:iconahhmedicine:
ahhmedicine Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Haven't seen you in awhile, just wanted to stop by and say hi! I hope all is well. :huggle:
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:iconunderamoonlitsky:
UnderAMoonlitSky Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012
Thank you.
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SeiMissTake Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012
thx for llama :D
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