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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member GrayMale/United States Recent Activity
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Things are looking up.I'm finally getting a job again at Safeway,the divorce matter is running smoothly(and possibly running in my favor),and am finally getting my life back on track.I'm feeling much better than last month's journal post.I want to thank everyone that's been there for me and haven't given up on me,you've given me strength to continue living in this world.Extra thanks goes to RavenSpider and Malintra-Shadowmoon,couldn't have done it without you two.As for my art,I'm continuously working on it,trying my best to make it more interesting and less perfectionist.
  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: Romantic Dreams By Deftones
  • Reading: The Sandman:Brief Lives
  • Watching: iZombie
  • Playing: none
  • Eating: Rib-Eye Steak
  • Drinking: Ovaltine
As I write this,I keep thinking to myself,"What the hell am I doing with my life"?I'm currently 27,unemployed,living with my folks,with no insurance,haven't finalized the divorce and gotten my stuff back.How am I still alive?Why do I always let myself be lazy and unfocused?Where did my courage and strength go?My mind racing with thoughts from the both sides of my psyche.

Symmetry,(dressed as an angelic mime),giving me hope,joy,and reason to live,telling me only I can do something with my life,something that has meaning and purpose.Serenity,honesty,love,and gratitude having an insightful conversation to broadcast order in my mind.Logic and reason keeping it altogether.

Anomaly,(dressed as Mr.Rogers in a devil suit),showing me the darkness that resides inside me,deception coursing through my veins.Rage not just bottled up in my mind,but locked in a padded room scratching at the walls,spreading its anguish through the cracks throughout my body.A plague of bedlam,anger becoming sorrow becoming fear becoming hatred becoming pain and never stopping.

So far,all I've done is try to apply for Covered California and be rejected,go out to a shopping mall to look at things I can't afford,read graphic novels(right now The Sandman from Vertigo)to enlighten my soul,go to a cafe to play board games with strangers,and lay around the house in the backroom sleeping or watching TV or fondling with my phone.Not making any effort to get my act together yet still exist in a world of magical denial and tangible evil to fill in a void of confusion.

I had to get that out of my system.I don't expect anyone to reply back.Just posting this helps relieve the agony.
  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: Sounds of havok
  • Reading: The Sandman:Season Of Mists
  • Watching: The World Age And Decay
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Junk Food
  • Drinking: Milk & Vanilla Coke
This journal entry will be updated regularly.I'm just sharing my large taste in music so people would try to understand me better.Some of them I'll try to be specific,others I'll indicate I don't have any of their music in my collection.In alphabetical order.

A
Adema
Akercocke(Disbanded 2012)
Alice In Chains
Arch Enemy
Arkaea(status unknown)
Ascension
Ascension Of The Watchers(status unkown)
Ashes Divide
Audioslave(Disbanded  2007)
Avatar(from Sweden)

B
Behemoth
Billy Corgan(1 solo album)
Black Light Burns
Black Sabbath
Born Of Osiris
Bush

C
Call Me No One
Cannibal Corpse
Cattle Decapitation
Cavalera Conspiracy
Chevelle
Children Of Bodom
Chris Volz(1 solo album)
City Of Fire
Clint Lowery's Hello Demons Meet Skeletons(last release 2013)
Cradle Of Filth
Crucial Fiction(status unknown)

D
Dååth
Dagoba
Dangerous New Machine(Disbanded 2013)
Dark New Day
Dave Navarro(1 solo album)
Dead By Sunrise
Deadsy
Deathstars
Deftones
Dethklok
Device(David Draiman solo)
DevilDriver
Devin Townsend
Dimmu Borgir
Disturbed
Divine Heresy
Divinity
Dream Theater
Drowning Pool

E
Earshot
Engel
Eths
Evanescence

F
Fashion Bomb
Fear And The Nervous System
Fear Factory
Feersum Ennjin(1 album)
Filter
Flaw
Fleshgod Apocalypse
Foo Fighters

G
Gavin Rossdale(1 solo album)
Gemini Syndrome
Genetic(Dallas Coyle Solo album)
Ghost B.C.
Godsmack
Gojira
Goodbye Gadget(status unknown)

H
Hustle Roses

I
Icon In Me
ICS Vortex(1 solo album)
Ill Niño
Impending Doom
In This Moment
Institute(1 album,disbanded 2006)

J
Jane's Addiction
Jeffrey Nothing(1 solo album)
Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Job For A Cowboy
Jonathan Davis(from Korn)
Julien-K

K
Kamelot
Kidneythieves
Killer Be Killed
Kittie
Korn

L
Lacuna Coil
Lamb Of God
Limp Bizkit
Linkin Park
Lordi
Love And Death(Brian "Head" Welch's 2nd band from Korn)

M
M.A.N(a.k.a. Massive Audio Nerve,disbanded 2014)
Machine Head
Marilyn Manson
Mastodon
Menace(Mitch Harris of Napalm Death solo effort)
Meshuggah
Metallica
Mnemic
Mudvayne
Mushroomhead

N
Nevermore
Nine Inch Nails
Nirvana

O
Opeth
Orgy
Otep
Ozzy Osbourne

P
P.O.D.
Paula Cole
A Perfect Circle
Projected(Mix of Sevendust & Creed/Alter Bridge members)
Puddle Of Mudd
Puscifer

Q
Queens Of The Stone Age

R
Rammstein
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rob Zombie

S
Sage 4(status unknown)
Samael
Sanctuary
Scamp
Scar Symmetry
Scar The Martyr
Scars On Broadway
Seether
Septicflesh
Sepultura
Serj Tankian
Sevendust
Seventh Void
Slayer
Slipknot
Smashing Pumpkins
Smaxone(status unknown)
Soil
Soilwork
Soulfly
Soundgarden
Staind
Static-X(disbanded 2013)
Stereomud(disbanded 2003)
Stone Sour
Stone Temple Pilots
Straight Line Stitch
Strapping Young Lad(disbanded 2007)

T
The Dillinger Escape Plan
The Oohlas(status unknown)
The Pheromones(disbanded)
Tool
Transport League
Triptykon
Trivium
Type O Negative(disbanded 2010)

V
Visceroy(disbanded 2007)

W
Warrel Dane
Wayne Static(1 solo album,died 2014)
We Are The Fallen

Z
Zwan(one album,disbanded 2003)
  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
Die Love You

Lay down and relax
We'll have so much fun
A few tender kisses,some light nibbling
Sweet forbidden flesh
It's getting very tense
I stare into your eyes
Feeling that connection
Stripping away our clothes
Nuzzling on your breasts
Spread your thighs
As I penetrate,as I desecrate
Your virgin lust
Looking at your beautiful body
Enjoying the warm feeling inside you
Soon you feel it coming
The rush of ecstasy
Passing through your body
As you climax
Then,when it's over,I cover your mouth
With my knife,I take your life
One stab,and your heart stops
Pleasure,pain,numbness,death
Watching the light leave your eyes
Hearing your final breath pass
It'll be our little secret
No one will know
Die Love You
And I always will
Die Love You
52nd poem off O.B.E. Originally titled Forbidden Flesh,was trying to do better on writing and conveying something sweet.Not related to the poem Without You,Within Me.Enjoy and Happy Valentine's Day.
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I think I am going to PUKE!

Had a nasty gallstone attack.Took 1 hydrocodone,puked it up.Very painful,but still alive.

deviantID

Daozen
Gray
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Hello,this is Gray.I write poems(or lyrics,whichever one),draw whatever comes to mind,and live in San Francisco.Hope you enjoy what you see.
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MamaELM:iconmamaelm:
Fish are the true spirits of the wild, always turning, twisting and surging through the great abyss. Only seeking that which can keep them alive.
Mon Oct 1, 2012, 12:55 PM
Kida-neechan:iconkida-neechan:
hello :D
Tue Aug 21, 2012, 4:43 AM
Nobody

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:iconartz1stlady:
Artz1stLady Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for watching! :hug:
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:icondaozen:
Daozen Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for being my friend Sabrina.
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:iconartz1stlady:
Artz1stLady Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course. It's my pleasure. :hug:
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:iconravenspider:
RavenSpider Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fav honey
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:iconravenspider:
RavenSpider Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the favs
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:iconravenspider:
RavenSpider Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fav
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:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Another happy birthday, dear friend, all the best to you. Enjoy your great day today :)
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:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday and all my best wishes to you. Hope you have a nice (Sun)day :)
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:iconrenekunert:
ReneKunert Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013   Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav! 
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